Not Quite
by Chocoluck Chipz
Summary: Someone is responsible for Ladyblog's impending doom and Alya would be the Alya Césaire if she wouldn't find that idiot and kick his ass!


**If you though that Adrien and Marinette were oblivious, wait till you see Alya and Nino.**  
 **I was hesitant at first to write this but then a friend reminded me that Miraculous Ladybug is a show where a giant cut-out of Ladybug stands in her parents' house and even they don't realise that this is their daughter with a mask on. So, logic be damned! Here we go!**

* * *

The hatch to the room had never been opened so violently and so fast and a second later Marinette plummeted down from her computer chair losing her balance from sheer surprise.

"Marinette, you must help me!"

"What happened, Alya?" the girl murmured back, rubbing her hurt behind.

"Tell him to stop or it's murder time in Alyaville!"

Marinette blinked in confusion.

"Tell whom to stop what?"

"Do you want me to kill your boyfriend?"

Her first reaction was to choke. Then she giggled from the absurdity of the request but once Marinette paid a little more attention to her best friend's face she understood that her intentions were serious.

"What did Adrien do?"

"He is killing my Ladyblog!" Alya screeched through her teeth. "He is the one responsible for that lame, fake LadyNoir Instagram account that became the spot for the latest scoop on the super duo. Ladyblog's traffic numbers were never this low!"

"Now, let's not rush into accusations," Marinette nervously sighed. She knew that the idea wasn't Adrien's brightest ever but he made those poor kitten eyes and his ears drooped flat while he begged her for the fifth time that day so she just couldn't refuse. It was beyond even her Ladybug's abilities. Due to her weakness now the superhero pair was the proud owner of LadyNoir Instagram that posted all the latest photos from scenes of the actions. Selfies, pre-battle pictures of akumatized villains, their traditional fist bumps photos at the end of every fight and a brief description of what it was like to be at the center of it all. Occasionally even their patrol and goofing around pictures would make an appearance. And as expected, Adrien used every opportunity to show off his sense of humor and to praise his Lady so those posts usually ended up being full of horrible puns and his lovesick confessions to Ladybug, which surprisingly attracted a ridiculous amount of people. Much more than they'd ever expected and soon their little web space was trending at the top.

"Why do you think it was Adrien, Alya?"

"I am not stupid, Mari. And I also have connections who traced his IP and all of the posts were made from his house. It has to be him!"

One of Marinette's eyebrows slowly crept up.

"What? You don't suggest it was his father?"

"There is also Natalie."

"Pfft," Alya scoffed. "There is also Gorilla but somehow I think that only Adrien fits the bill. He loves puns. He has a horrible sense of humor. He is cheesy as… well, cheese and, no offense, I know he is your boyfriend but he still has an issue with being attracted to Ladybug. Like he seriously needs to get over her. It's getting ridiculous, really."

"Have you considered that someone might have set their IP through his house so everyone would think it is Adrien?" Marinette would _really_ talk to her grief of the boyfriend about basic security measures in their tricky business of keeping their identities safe. "I would think that would be the first thing someone would do in order to protect themselves."

"Or they might be careless enough to forget," insisted Alya. "Just help me here, please, Marinette."

"What do you want me to do?" Marinette giggled. Alya was furious and when she was furious she always told everything as it was. She also acted first and thought about it later. Marinette really didn't envy Adrien if he met her best friend in some dark valley in the next 24 hours.

"Just tell him to take that site down!"

"Calm down, Alya," Marinette smiled to her agitated friend. "Don't forget that you might be wrong. I've never heard of Adrien maintaining some _fake_ LadyNoir account. In fact, why don't you ask him yourself, Alya? It's not at all like you to avoid facing someone who wronged you directly."

"You are my best friend, Marinette," scoffed Alya. "You _don't want_ me to face Adrien right now because you _don't want_ to become a boyfriend widow at the tender age of 18."

"You are right. I don't want that," chuckled Marinette. "I'll talk to him later tonight. He is working right now. Ok?"

"As long as he listens to you," huffed Alya and pulled her phone out to show her friend her latest discovery.

About ten minutes later, satisfied to some degree Alya had left the bakery. She had to admit that it was ridiculously hard to believe that Adrien would try to undercut her Ladyblog's popularity by some lame, _fake_ Instagram account but all the evidence was still pointing in his direction. She really wanted to believe Marinette that the usually incredibly honest Agreste Junior was innocent of faking anything but the cold facts stated otherwise. Marinette might just not be aware of what her boyfriend of two years was up to on his own time. His perfect behavior around other people didn't mean that he was innocent. After all, there is a dark side to every single one of us. Alya frowned. There was still one man who could help her get some answers and she was meeting him in a few minutes at the park.

"About Adrien?" Nino's eyes went wide. "What strange, Ladybug related facts? The bro is a cool dude, nothing unusual."

"Nino, don't play with me right now," threatened Alya. "I am a woman on a mission and I _will_ succeed."

"But what can I tell you, babe? The man is totes normal."

"Oh, please. He still has a crush on Ladybug despite dating Marinette for two years! You think that is normal?"

"Well, he does get a little flustered every time he meets her. And those lovesick glances of his are really embarrassing but he looks just as lovesick at Marinette so I don't think there is a problem. Just a simple celebrity crush, Alya. Like, who didn't have one, right?"

"Yeah, you might be right," Alya pouted and turned away a little to hide her so unconventionally appearing blush. "At least we know that he wouldn't cheat on Marinette with Ladybug. The guy is extremely loyal."

"Yup. Like crazily overboard with his devotion once he commits to something or someone."

"Yeah," Alya frowned. "That is actually a part of the reason why I don't understand him dating Marinette but still swooning over Mademoiselle Spots. Knowing him he would've gotten over Ladybug before committing to our girl."

"Well, I guess Marinette was too good for him to pass on or risk waiting and losing her to someone else," Nino smirked.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he suddenly whispered. "I think it's getting better. You know, Adrien talks in his sleep, right? So over the years I caught him a few times murmuring something like "My Lady" and "Bugaboo" at out sleepovers. There might have been a few love confessions too… However, ever since they started dating he steadily adds Marinette's name to his slumber vocabulary. 'Marinette, my Lady', he would sigh," Nino copied his best friend's voice. "'Careful, Princess, it can eat you alive', 'I'll save you, Mari'. Like, his imagination is so ridiculous at times," Nino chuckled. "He also talks to someone called Plagg in his dreams. I have no idea who or what that is but Adrien usually denies him cheese or shuts him up. I might have to record him one time for us to enjoy it over a dinner."

"Pfft," chuckled Alya. "Marinette also mumbles but it's more like 'Stupid cat!' or 'Mon minou' or something. I think she mentions someone called 'Tikki' often. I figured that was the name of her dream cat but I haven't discussed it once with her. Don't want to embarrass the girl."

"A cat? Named Tikki?"

"I know! Marinette had always wanted a pet but, unfortunately, she lives in a bakery. The girl hasn't ever owned one so I guess that's where the dreams come from. Anyway," Alya sighed and erased the smile from her face. "We are straying away from the subject, Nino," she adjusted her glasses back in place. "For starters, we need to know how Adrien makes those fake photos so I can expose him and crash that lame account."

"Wait! You think that those photos are fake?"

"Of course they are fake! Do you honestly think that Ladybug and Chat Noir have time for pictures when an akuma attacks? Even during patrols, I am sure they have more important things to do then to pose for Agreste. No, Nino. Those photos have to be fake and I need you to find out how he does it."

"Photoshop?"

"Nah, I checked. The photos are real in terms of being legit photos. I think he hired actors or something to make them."

"Cosplay?"

"Hmmm…" Alya's eyes lit up suddenly as she practically ripped her phone out of her pocket and started frantically looking for something. One particular photo she made a long time ago to be exact… Soon she shoved the screen under Nino's nose. "So what do you think?"

"You think Adrien is cosplaying Chat Noir?"

"He certainly looks the part."

"And who would be his Ladybug then?"

"Hmmm…" Alya tried to concentrate. "The girl in the photos doesn't seem to wear a wig so she must have a naturally black hair with bluish hue… or at least she colored it that way… and blue eyes… unless they are lenses…"

"Have you ever considered your bestie?" Nino asked hesitantly putting the phone back into his girlfriend's hands with a picture of Marinette smiling on the screen. "I mean, she also looks the part."

"Marinette?"

"That's her."

"Cosplaying Ladybug? With Adrien as Chat Noir? On a regular basis?"

"That's the current idea."

"And somehow I haven't noticed?"

"You never know what they are doing on their dates…" shrugged Nino. Alya paused and wrinkled her nose in concentration.

"But those pictures often include akumatized villains," she noted after a minute. "They need to be in the area of the battle each and every time to capture those."

"Now that I think of it…" Nino frowned.

"Marinette is never around when akuma attacks," Alya whispered. "She always disappears and comes back only after everything has been dealt with."

"So does Adrien!" Nino's eyes rounded.

"And she often knows the smallest details about akumas," the girl continued, starting to pace back and forth. "Just last week I said that Poseidon had three large jewels on his trident when writing an article for my Ladyblog and she goes like 'There were four' not even taking her eyes off her sewing. I went back to photos and voila! Four! One tiny emerald was tucked under that huge topaz."

"By the way," Nino interrupted. "Adrien said that Poseidon was really lame and had serious problems with balancing on his tentacles out of the water. He must have watched the actions from up close to know that."

"So is Marinette… Nino!" Alya slapped her own forehead. "That is so obvious! I can't believe I didn't think of that sooner!"

"What, babe?"

"That's why those photos are not fake!" Alya was freaking out. " Adrien and Marinette are putting on costumes and taking pictures while Ladybug and Chat Noir are fighting!"

"Don't you think that a little bit too far fetched, Alya?" Nino deadpanned. "Sounds kind of creepy..."

"There are just too many coincidences for them to be pure coincidences, Nino. Won't you agree?" Alya frowned and gave her boyfriend her scary Alya stare.

"Hmmm… You might be right about the coincidences but I don't think…"

"They must carry their cosplay suits with them at all times to be able to change quickly…" Alya continued her frantic ramble.

"Alya, don't you think…"

"Marinette does have her purse with her all the time…"

"It's too small for that!" Nino tried to reason. "And Adrien doesn't always have his bag with him."

"Suits can be very thin these days…"

"Alya, have some common sense!" He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Nino loved his girlfriend. He really did but sometimes her fantasies and theories just went a bit too far. "Marinette and Adrien are _not_ putting themselves in danger by cosplaying the heroic duo every time there is an akuma for some fake LadyNoir Instagram account! That's ridiculous!"

"What do you propose for me to think? You just agreed with me that those coincidences are _not random_ , Nino!"

"Well, there has to be a logical explanation apart from this ridiculous idea of a cosplay…"

"Unless they are Ladybug and Chat Noir themselves I don't…" Alya froze in her place and looked at equally shocked Nino. The duo stared point blank at each other for a few minutes after which Alya blinked. Nino frowned. The corners of the girl's lips twitched and they both erupted into an uncontrollable laugh.

"Marinette Ladybug? Ha-ha-ha," Alya couldn't stop. "Imagine our hero tripping over her own feet! And being always fashionably late for the battles! Ha-ha-ha! Imagine Ladybug stuttering and freezing around Chat Noir or Agreste!"

"And Adrien shamelessly flirting! Aha-ha-ha! Those horrible puns! His father would have killed him for having no class and manners! Don't even get me started on what he would've said if he knew that Adrien runs around Paris in a skintight, black catsuit! Putting his precious, money-making face in danger every day!" – added Nino.

The pair laughed for some more time until Alay finally got herself together.

"There is no way, Nino," she was still chuckling. "As much as I would like it to be true, _this_ is just _too_ far fetched, not the cosplay idea! No way. There has to be another explanation and I am not Alya Césaire if I don't find it."

"Right," Nino nodded and sat down on a bench. His stomach was still aching from all the laughs. "You are the best of the best, Alya. I am sure you will uncover the truth soon."

"And here is the perfect opportunity," the girl added checking her phone. "Another akuma at the Eiffel Tower. Want to race?"

"No way."

"Loser!"

"A living loser."

"I'll give you that CD you begged me for a month."

"You are an evil woman, do you know that?"

"And you love me just like that."

"That I do."

The next morning Alya found out from Marinette that all the posts for LadyNoir Instagram account were in fact made from Adrien's computer… by Chat Noir… who asked Adrien to use his computer because he didn't want to use his own and thus put his secret identity in danger. Later that evening Adrien himself called and said that the hero of destruction stopped by again and upon learning of Ladyblog's dilemma apologized profoundly. He claimed to have not realized that his actions were hurting their very best, most devoted, most awesome fan ever. As an apology, Chat Noir offered an exclusive right for an interview with either him or Ladybug once a month for the next year plus Ladyblog's promotion on his LadyNoir Instagram account. To sweeten the deal Chat promised to send her a few pictures every week to be posted exclusively on Ladyblog. In return, Alya was asked to never trace his IP again. Faking reluctance the girl agreed. After all, the new IP was somewhere in Dubai. She was not planning to fly over there looking for someone who clearly gotten a lot smarter on the course of this ordeal.


End file.
